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How a small decision can turn your life around.

Updated: Nov 19, 2018


The Power of Intention

Deciding to be happy, may seem like a Pollyanna approach. It seems we are not all wired to be optimists and joy makers. However, there can be a turning point in your life if you decide to work towards increased happiness, decide to live well, and decide to connect with positive influences. Our thoughts, it turns out are powerful and studies have shown that positive thinking can have a powerful impact on your quality of life. Additionally, the people we choose to spend time with can also have a powerful impact on our lives. People are wired with mirror neurons, meaning we naturally begin mirroring the attitudes, mannerisms and language of those around us. Begin to pay attention to the words and actions of those you spend time with. Without judgement, decide if this is the influence you want in your life. It may be time to gradually (moving too fast might cause eyebrows t raise, ha) build more positivism into your daily dialogues and actions. A good gateway might be to begin complimenting your loved ones and yourself more often. Turn put downs around if you hear others making them towards themselves or you. Bring laughter to mistakes. We are all human after all. If you find this isn't working, it may be time to gradually work towards finding a new crowd. But before avoiding your friends maybe try this technique (can also be used on yourself as a way of validating and acknowledging your feelings and experiences so they do not become unprocessed emotions.


Try This:

With self and other:


Matching-Pacing-Leading Technique


Matching


This is where we validate what the self or the other is feeling. Honor the mood, feeling, and experience that the other is having.

They might say something as bold as "This has been a shitty day!"

"Oh yeah, tell me about it?"

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Yeah that is a shitty experience/feeling."

"I was feeling crappy today too when ______happened."


Pacing


I did the best I could do I guess. Trying not to let it get me down. I honor that I wasn't born perfect. Live and learn I suppose if this was to happen again, I would.________. What did you learn from your experience?


Leading


I feel like a walk would help me get it out of my system and out of my funk. Wanna join me?

Sure.

While walking, engage in some deep breathing and see if your pal follows suit

Begin making comments about beautiful/cool things you see on your walk.

Slowly begin talking about positive things happening in your lives or the lives of mutual acquaintances. Make a plan to do something fun uplifting later in the week such as: bigger hike, a dinner out, or get some friends together for a game night etc.


A dear friend of mine loved the quote, "Happiness is like butter, you can't spread it without getting any on you." She lives this through as she spreads a positive vibe and always helps me focus on positives when I am in a funk.


Another to technique to try with yourself


Acknowledge a thought or feeling or belief.


"Work depletes my energy."


Then state the opposite as if it is already true:


"I joyfully gain energy from serving others with my unique gifts. "


Acknowledge both statements as true and see how your body energy feels.


That said, in this situation, attempt to set boundaries on work and achieve a balance of work, rest, and play!





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